So the past few weeks have been some of the most extreme of my life.

I traveled to San Antonio for my 2 and a half weeks of FOH training for my MIT program. What an awesome cafe. Great management staff and the location was pretty spectacular. It was oddly cold (30s) so that was interesting to deal with and live through.

Now I'm grounding out at Hard Cafe Miami. I've been there for about a week and a half and have been submerged in all that needs to be done there. Looking forward to the challenge and laughing along the way.

We could be heroes.

So far I have completed 2 1/2 days of my MIT program. I've been mostly working in Prep/BOH and it is now I realize I really knew nothing. haha. They do so much work back there it's unreal.

Sincerly,
Diced and Sliced

So; It happened.

I received word last Wednesday, Oct 8th of my official offer for the Ops Manager position I had been working toward. I wanted to hear between Oct 1-10th, though I didn't expect such a literal manifestation since it took about that long for the phone interviews etc. But I will be starting the MIT program on Tuesday, October 21st. I'm training with Randy in the BOH at the Hollywood, FL location until I go to SAN ANTONIO!!! :) !!! for 2 1/2 weeks to train there a little on a different side of FOH! I'm so stoked. After my stint in Texas I will return to South Florida and finish up my training in Miami and my life will be forever changed.

So happy for how far I've come in these years with the brand. Excited for the future. Grateful for my friends and family I've met along the way. Here we goooo...

You have to learn to accept that not everyone can go where you're going. And that's okay.
But you can't hold yourself back to witness someone else. The donation of time can not be at the cost of you living your own best life.

This life is not about checkpoints and settling for what you get by a certain amount of time. It's about going for what you really want. Not what someone else told you that you need to have by a certain day or a select age; But going for what drives your soul outside of your body so that you feel like this World is made for your taking. Because it is.

I always say I'll write more, so far no honoring my word. haha.
Well maybe.
I guess that's a perception based ideal. More in the form of quantity vs quality?
I can always find a justification. haha.

Work is consistent. I've been doing my best, putting in the hours, making the money, forming the corporate spiels. We'll see if it all pays off.
I'm trying to manifest a Oct 1-10th promotion. I would prefer an answer around that time.
It will give me the time I need to plan where I want to live after our lease in Sheridan Lake ends.

I'm still focused on getting my own place. For a moment Sam and I thought we found a suitable arrangement but the urban aspect of the place made us realize it was really too good to be true at the price point.

So I've been dreaming...
A nice condo, overlooking the water, or at least my open balcony would.
A spacious but not overdone Kitchen, leading into a professional living room that only hides my dreamy bedroom from the entertaining space.
Dreams are Prayers, Prayers are Dreams. I'm hoping the space between lifts soon and becomes a reality. I work hard and I want this.

I want to travel to Paris for my 30th birthday. Another gift to myself that I'd remember always.

So many presents for the soon-to-be present.

“Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.”- James Joyce

I found that to tell the truth is the hardest thing on earth, harder than fighting in a war, harder than taking part in a revolution. If you try it, you will find that at times sweat will break upon you. You will find that, even if you succeed in discounting the attitudes of others to you and your life, you must wrestle with yourself most of all, fight with yourself, for there will surge up in you a strong desire to alter facts, to dress up your feelings. You'll find that there are many things you don't want to admit about yourself and others. As your record shapes itself an awed wonder haunts you, and yet there is no more exciting an adventure than trying to be honest in this way. The clean, strong feeling that sweeps you when you've done it makes you know that
      -Richard Wright, author of Black Boy and Native Son

Last night made me question my pathway quite a bit.
I guess a lot actually, since I'm still thinking about it this morning.

Working as a Supervisor has been a gift and a curse. It's so hard to have 60% power. While I know for a fact I can run a great floor, it's annoying to not have all the resources the actual managers do.
It's also frustrating when there is an MIT on duty that is useless and I know they're getting a paycheck that I'm earning. lol. I got it laugh it off but sometimes it does get me down a notch in vibration.

Contrast is good. It always reminds me that there's something that I don't want in the picture. I just can't figure out how much of it I don't want. I don't want to have to babysit young adults into doing their job. I don't want to constantly hear negative comments from guests about what they think they deserve and didn't get it. It seems like I keep ending up somewhere on the totem pole that doesn't really give me all the access I want to fulfillment. Possibly time for a re-route.

Rampage.

Attraction. Love. Happiness. Fluidity. Flexibility. Exhaling. Acceptance. Inspiration. Inspiring. Motivated. Impressionable. Open-Minded. Deliberate Creation.

Tonight was a Supermoon in Aquarius.

During my meditation I received a message that my grandparents wouldn't have wanted me to miss them so much to the point of blocking myself off from feeling love or new experiences.

They would want me to be happy.

It really resonated with me to the point of tears and I do sometimes stop myself from opening up because I don't constantly want to relive that loss. But not allowing love only increases the pain.

It really was something so easy to hear but I didn't really understand until lately.

Forbes Thought Of The Day

“ You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give. ”
— Eleanor Roosevelt


Happy Birthday Poppy

“ The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself. ”
— Thales

“ I have always admired the ability to bite off more than one can chew and then chew it. ”
— William DeMille

“ As a solid rock is not shaken by a strong gale, so wise persons remain unaffected by praise or censure.”
— Buddha

“ Life has a way of overgrowing its achievements as well as its ruins. ”
— Edith Wharton

So I've really begun researching business plans and ideas for opening a Tea Room/Crystal Shop.

It's Currently Under the Title "Sanctuary" which is what I wish to develop.

Sometimes I just wish I had a place to go, full of awesome books and good hot beverages, playing relaxing music or perhaps motivational lectures.

I'm gonna make it happen.

I recently sent my father a card for Father’s day. The trouble with doing a small deed like that is it’s small torture along the way. First there’s the shopping of it; the picking up of each card and opening it to a humorous play on a scenario that should fit the average American consumer but it is so far from the mark it could easily be taken as a dig. “Dear Dad, Remember all the time when I was little...” hahaha, back in front of those light green envelopes you go. “Father, you’re the strongest guy I know...” another smirk and slide back in to the place holder. After finally settled on the most generic one I could find, I figured half the battle would be over. I knew he could take it all the wrong way or maybe not take it at all. Either way, I felt like I did my part and did more then he traditionally ever did in my past. I was watching Grey’s Anatomy the other day and there was scene where Meredith is hoping her father had secretly sent her letters and they were hidden in a drawer somewhere... but the truth is for girls like us, there is no drawer full of apologies and well wishes somewhere. He wrote me this time though. On LinkedIn. Used primarily for my Hard Rock promotions, there two messages sit. One sent I’m guessing on the day that he received the card. It simply stated thanks for the card in the subject line. I guess he felt what I felt, a feeling of non-closure, because he sent another message a few days later. It reminded me that how I wrote in the card that he “may not be in my day-to-day life that I still appreciate him for the life he provided me with that I love” ... and he then remarked that it’s 100% my choice that he’s not in my day-to-day. My first instinct was to reply “You’re right it is my choice. This time.” He took all the time in the World to travel it and ignore the life he had at home. It infuriated me that he wants to put a number or percent on the fact of our non-communication. Like there’s a science to having a dad disappear for most of your life and try to plaster over it all like starting again is that easy and the choice was a percent if not all mine. I thought about it for a while. Not replying. Letting it sit with it’s earlier sent companion. I watched a sad movie and cried. I thought that would make me feel better but it only made me miss my grandparents. I’ve been doing that more and more lately. I realized I spent so many moments compressing their memory so I that could function on the day-to-day. And then it hit me. Tears rolling down with the water in the shower I realized that it makes me sad to see my father. Whenever we’re together it’s just a big reminder. Of the fact that he wasn’t around. Of the mother I’ll never get to know. Of my grandparents I miss so much every day. It makes me sad. And being sad has not been part of my professional or personal agenda. I want to thrive. I want to get the career or something like it of my desire. I don’t want constant reminders of the things I lost or never had. I still haven’t replied or decided if I will.

I don't know how I got sick... I mean,  I could guess.
But yeah, I've been fighting an cold since yesterday and pretty well actually.
I pretty much am refusing this thing to get to me.

I had to take my first Astronomy test yesterday. I think I did decent.
Again, as long as I don't fail I guess that's all that matters.

I'm facilitating Live * Learn * Rock today.
Not sure if it was achieved by Manifestation or Annoyance, but I'll take either. haha.
The big focus is that it's happening. Sick or not.
I'm gonna try to knock it out of the park so that I can be Lorraine's understudy for Orientations and any other kind of Training mods.

This weekend was exhausting but lucrative.
Starting to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm helping Lorraine facilitate Wednesday's Live - Learn - Rock Training so I'm super excited about that.

Tomorrow I have my first test for AST1003. It's so nerve-wracking just because of the fact that I have that looming FAU "F" on my transcript reminding me it's not as easy as I think sometimes. Either way I've enjoyed this term much more so no matter what it'll be a better grade.

I should also get my Oracle of the Mermaids cards and Sam's dragonfae cards tomorrow! :)

This is week is awesome already and it's only Monday :)

Today was a really emotional day.

I found myself really missing my Grandma.
I quickly unpacked some of my memo and found her perfume and sprayed it in my room.
Sometimes I forget how much emotion I've bolted down these past years.
It's okay that I miss her, she was fucking awesome.

I went out into the Everglades today.
Nothing can make you feel smaller than being among all those stars and bugs.
Most of us wouldn't last a night out there.
There wasn't a meteor shower as expected, shocker NASA made a mistake.

In bed, exhausted I'm back to reminiscing.
I used to love when my Grandpa would pick me up from pre-school.
Back in that time there was this old school Italian bakery and we'd always stop there and we'd get me a cookie and he'd chat with the owner. I always got the same cookie with the chocolate and sprinkles and the cream in the middle. Eventually I grew up and that shop closed.
In my middle school days and going into high school we'd stop at 7-Eleven or Dunkin before I got to school. My dunkin' norm was apple juice and a chocolate chip cookie. 7-Eleven I'd just get whatever snacks I wanted. If we didnt have time he'd give me money and I'd get something in the school cafeteria. Either way it was kind of one of the most consistent things in my life that I didn't realize until now.
I think it's why I love breakfast.

I love you Poppy & Nanny and miss you both, every day. so much. 

Been looking into Malaysia a lot today.
Didn't realize what the real region looked like, it's pretty impressive the amount of area they covered.
Indonesia and Singapore in relation are interesting.
Really hoping to end up on that side of the world by the end of this year.

There is a Hard Rock Cafe opening in Kota Kinabalu in December.
I'm going to try to focus my energy on that opening and being a part of it.
It'd be a great way to see the infamous waterfront.

Fingers crossed.

In the meantime I'm going to hopefully moderate the next Live. Learn. Rock.
Continue training.
Continue doing my best and trying not to step on any toes.

My AA should be finished by this Summer. Im doing everything I can to make sure because I really did skip the potential Anchorage and Cambodia openings to finish what I started. 

“ Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. ”
— Erica Jong

Tomorrow marks my 2-year anniversary of my Hire date for Hard Rock Cafe.

It's been a crazy couple of years. This morning I sent off a revision to our training packet and am getting great feedback. School semester is over (Got an A in National Government with an A in Development Psych on the way). Hung out with Dave (Drummer from the 13th Floor - Location Winner of Hard Rock Rising Hollywood FL). He's pretty awesome... it's probably a trick. haha.

Things are going really great for me right now. I've decided to just pretend like that's normal and not try to self-sabotage as usual. Most of the time I don't believe in the good til it's in writing. So maybe this can count as writing it.

I'm still waiting on the manager info and my future, whether It'll happen, whether I'll stay or Go. Seems crazy to think how much your life can change in a few moments.

"There is still a possibility to all those things unveiled to you to really happen" - The Leo King

Yesterday, I went to a "message" circle at Crystal Vision. Samuel gave me the word "hardworker" ... which obviously resonates with my current possibility for promotion.
He reminded me to not feel guilty about success and that sometimes being clever and smart will put you ahead of the race. Very cool message.

I used to never walk out of the house without eyeliner on. I've been self-conscious off my body for as long as I can remember, unless I drank on through to the other side.

Today, I'll be leaving for work with no makeup on (and I haven't worn any in days) and my work shirt is tucked in. I feel like I've grown up so much in such small ways.

Happy about what I'm seeing in the mirror and that's awesome.

So I've been in the process of trying to become a manager at the Hard Rock. You know me when they say things can't be done...

So. I started supervising at the beginning of this month, it is now the 17th. I've had 3 supervisor shifts and taken the Batrus assessment and received a pretty good return.

Scott is supposed to sit down with Tony (DO of the Region) and see where to go from here. Randy will begin mentoring me this month and start the process of my Manager in Orientation training.

I'm not sure what the future holds, but i'm dauntless.

March 2014 Wisdom

These past few weeks have been crazy. So many changes, new beginnings, severe endings... The biggest thing I've learned is that as long as you're authentic and true to yourself you will be able to always look in the mirror and like what you see. Happy March, Bunnies.

You already have all the tools you need to accomplish what you desire. Just go for it.

There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

“ Life is a short day; but it is a working day. Activity may lead to evil, but inactivity cannot lead to good." — Hannah More

“ The only things that evolve by themselves in an organization are disorder, friction and malperformance. ”
— Peter Drucker

I got sick in March and it took me out for a while. I've made a conscious effort to not have that happen again. Been eating a lot healthier and trying to stay hydrated.     

Red Cow - Fort Lauderdale, FL

“ Truth is a gem that is found at a great depth; whilst on the surface of the world all things are weighed by the false scale of custom. ”
— Lord Byron

Day Trip: Jensen Beach / Stuart, FL